Beautiful Soul

 

Stars in eyes, let me stare at you like your the most beautiful thing i've ever seen, let me live around you with a joyful skip in my soul, let me teach you all how to pray, let me help you notice sunrises and sunsets and flowers, clouds and stars.  Beautiful soul let my innocence shine through, let my smile make your world ok, let me run from you across fields of flowers and when you catch me let me laugh heartily and let you lay your head in my lap as we watch her chase butterflies...

Beautiful soul let me wake you up with butterfly kisses, let me sing sweet things, let me stroke your hair and make you believe it's all ok, beautiful soul, let me peek at you around the door happy tears in eyes as i watch you rock our children to sleep, let me oh let me bring the beauty in the world to life for you every day.  Let me run you baths and cook your meals, let me sit and help you, i wanna read for you, encourage you, build you...

Beautiful soul let me dance around in circles and let my dress flow, let me stare at you so in love so sure,  hold me back as i playfully run, and watch me sleep , Beautiful soul let me have you captivated, Beautiful soul let me love you...through lifes journey, let me teach you to give to the poorest, to forgive the hardest, to carry the weakest, to appreciate the smallest....

   

Beautiful soul, let me love you....

Blog Wrote on 01 Dec 11
Dedicated to Akhona Sipunzi, a totally Beautiful soul, how a man failed to love her on earth, Jesus will love her in heaven...

[born:                  - passed away: 03 Dec 2011]

AUTHENTIC ME

There aint nothing poetic about this blog simply because there aint nothing poetic about what i saw....as to not confuse you let me bring you up to speed.  Today i felt the need to change my desktop background to match my current journey, i wanted to find a picture that represented my african feminine hearts strength and desired surrender to God, something serene and graceful and not dripping with hopelessness that is companion to so many of us, i wanted a picture that would clearly represent that i was now fed up and ready to kick the devils butt and become who i am meant to be, that of course is a whole other blog which i will journal as soon as i've figured out how to journey it.... Any who so there i was googling and came across a sight with alot of african art, alot of it was beautiful but then i ran across two pictures that rubbed my african self up the wrong way!  We have forgotten our elegance and grace...

This aint us, this aint african beautiful, we have curves and grace and our own form of beauty, a wise friend of mine said if you judge a fish by its ability to climb trees it will live its whole life thinking it's stupid, we have lost our ability to appreciate our own beauty because we are accepting to be fish judged by our ability to climb, we swim and swim well, we need to unstraightin that hair and unflatten those hips, unrefine that accent and unlighten that skin, we need to love the true beauty that engulfs an african woman ...

"don't be hating on my hips, size twenty eight my curvatious toosh"

I LIVE !

Here’s to a list of things I don’t need no more (so I’m throwing you out)
Hurt you took up my time and too many of my tears so I’m waving good bye…
Disappointment you told me that was my last chance, that good would never come again, I soon discovered that’s a lie, so to you too a hearty goodbye
Fear you tried to box me, undermine me, leash me, all those things you thought I’d given up on watch this space, I’m burning you today
Insecurities, turns out you have no idea what so ever who I am, how amazing I am and just about anything about who I can be so I’m ending your reign
Hands full of things that don’t matter no more put them down,
Heart holding onto things that should have long left, say goodbye
Life I will  live you, hope I will trust you.
Every smile I claim you, every joy I embrace you,  every challenge I’ll face you, every success I’ll experience you, every heart beat you’ll count, garments of my past I shed you, pain, rejection, disappointment you have made an appearance but you weren’t the end of the story, here’s where I turn and walk away, no I won’t fight you for my all, I already have defeated your purpose, when I got on my knees and prayed, the God I serve He’s made you small, and now with my reclaimed all, beauty, strength, courage, love, I WILL LIVE!
 

^{Psalm 118}

¹⁹ Open to me the gates of righteousness;
         I will go through them,
         And I will praise the LORD.
 ²⁰ This is the gate of the LORD,
         Through which the righteous shall enter.
  
 ²¹ I will praise You,
         For You have answered me,
         And have become my salvation.
  
 ²² The stone which the builders rejected
         Has become the chief cornerstone.
 ²³ This was the LORD’s doing;
         It is marvelous in our eyes.
 ²⁴ This is the day the LORD has made;
         We will rejoice and be glad in it.

 

For the moment you come face to face with the knowledge of your destiny, mercy to all that from that point dares to try to stand in your way, we will not be broken!
" We can do ALL things! "

Mama Nontsikelelo Albertina Sisulu

Heart heavy,I sit hear wondering how to put in words what I feel as I realise that South Africa has lost one of the nations mothers,I sit here wondering how I put in words the level of respect I have for u mama. A young African woman I stand bidding fairwell to a rock, thats what we call woman of her caliber, they are dignified, strong, moral, driven, loving, humble, graceful, beautiful.  Oh the lessons woman like her have taught just by living breathtaking heights in this life, by not being swept up by the impurities of this world, not rating glitz and glam higher than moral value, by understanding what being an African mother is, by knowing that the responsibility of mother extends way beyond the borders of their homes and by living her Purpose fearlessly. Mama Albertina was a lesson to all about the power of a woman. I bid her farewell and pray that we will entrench the many lessons she taught in our hearts.  We bid farewell to another mother of the struggle,lala ngo xolo mama wesizwe, lala ngo xolo Ndlovukazi, heaven will enjoy your presence.

"wa tinta umfazi, wa tinta ibokodo"

 Learn more about her:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Albertina_Sisulu

A Woman's Heart

Hold my head up high....

oh hearts desire ...to STAND strong, DIGNIFIED, though tainted by your cunning handed to me in kind words, how you could take my LOVE so confidently lie, betrayed my heart and still i bore you child,  and then by earths expectations i walked out wouldnt show no hurt no defeat, make up on dressed all phly, not a scar in sight yet still they lay hidden in my deepest, a place only those i TRUSTED could see, on my softest walls you stabbed me,

 and now i raise her, a BEAUTY given to me by my saviour and now you want a part? what about what you did to my heart, "do not be bitter, do not hold a grudge,"how quick life ran to help you stand your evil ground, how understanding the world was with you and yet it was I who lay battered and bruised, and now he loves.... me , but fear you evil beast would steal my JOY my COURAGE, all for the chance to live, i look at her my heart as she grows and pray with every molecule that this worlds portion for WOMEN, for the  QUEENS and PRINCESSES, do not pass her by, that life would show me this KINDNESS, aint it a blessing that we have a God who for our gentle strong souls fights, oh so NOT DEFEATED but rather facing it and now i stand not disguised, scars and all BEAUTIFUL and STRONG victory battles cry,proud, feminine...it is you defeated not I

STRONG

Eyes up, ears shut doubt i aint listening no more, not to your taunting or detailed discription of how incapable you figured i am, well i got news for you watch my strong stride, as i walk all over your weak talk about this life of mine, as i dance over your failed past attempts with me, watch me move, i'm alive ...beautiful and so so capivating, squirm as you see me believe in the power poured into my soul by God.

Withdraw with shame you failed again, at your silly mission to bring me down, everything about my smile my focus my sound tells you i'm most definately around, yes i swing my hips with taunting gesture, every rhythm of me every flow says im on the go, over and over you returned to the drawing board, each blow harder than that past, bet you didnt think i'd be at my best, well HA...

hello HOPE lets go...

SURRENDERED

Dear God

You have always been all knowing and yes my human self void of plenty needed knowledge, You have always been such a comfort to me and a sense of stability, right now I’m sure of nothing and feeling really shaken up and so I’m coming to You without any of the answers or solutions, I doubt I even know the right words to pray or the whether my heart is in the right place, this world is so full of unsure ness and I surrender my all into your hands, please show me step by step what you will of me and I pray I obey You with my all, in Jesus name I pray

AMEN

It does not mean that I am weak again

for I am strong

It does not mean I am lost again

for in you Abba i am found

in You Abba I find victory

in You Abba I AM WHOLE

SILENCED

Because this is my existance
Not to offend anyone, but i am refusing to be sworn to silence any longer
by accusations that i should get over apartheid, it ended over a decade ago
and yet still today i must limit my speech and turn a blind eye to the prejudice i see and live

Because this is my existance
Not to offend anyone, but i am refusing to be sworn to silence any longer
when i can see and feel that you have an attitude against the colour of my skin
that privileges are held back for those of a different shade

Because this is my existance
Not to offend anyone, but i am refusing to be sworn to silence any longer
when i see humans turn against humans
when greed would cut off a hand

i am not against any race nor am i for any race
i am for human kind
the things i voice are not my unforgiven history
they are my now and so
I speak against: 

LIES
CORRUPTION

HATRED

RAPE

GENOCIDE

KILLINGS

PREJUDICE

POVERTY

PAIN

LACK OF EMPATHY

GREED

...etc

because this is my UNWANTED UNACCEPTED existance!